Live YOUR Life

It's so funny because in this new year, I told myself I would do more things for me. I will put myself first and always consider how things affect me directly. And a part of that is really taking my writing seriously, so here I am back and ready to do my blog again. I cannot promise that it will be often, but I do want to try to engage more. I trust in myself to open doors I didn't know were there.

I went to church on Sunday, and it was such a good message. It really made me realize that maybe some of the no's I have received are because I am not supposed to work for someone else. I have the potential to make a stable and fulfilling life for myself, I just have to take the steps to do it. "When everyone else is telling you no, God is working behind doors to tell you yes. You just have to be obedient, open and obnoxious in the things you want". I took myself out on a date later that evening and found myself writing this journal entry, so I'll just share it with you all.

It can be so hard to just be in the moment sometimes or feel like you have to do everything with other people, but you don’t. you have to learn to be okay with your own company, to love you so much that you don’t need someone else’s presence to enjoy your life. Everything we do can’t be surrounded around someone else, love yourself so much that you take yourself on that date. Pamper yourself every once in a while. It’s okay to splurge on yourself at least once, don’t let it make you feel guilty. don’t think about what bills you have or what you’re ignoring by doing this for yourself, without you the bills still won’t get paid. Take care of you, love you, be you, have fun with you. Don’t let anyone take that away from you and never let anyone tell you that you can’t do something nice for yourself. You work hard year around; day after day, you DESERVE to take care of you, to make yourself happy. It’s so easy nowadays to get caught up in social media and comparison, but you can do whatever you want, you just have to want it. Want it bad! This is my grown woman year; this is my year to put myself first. My year to take care of myself, to build myself up and elevate to the woman I know I can be the woman God sees me as. And you may ask “how do you know what God sees?” you just know. You just know the type of woman he wants you to be by the people he surrounds you with, by the decisions you make. Listen to your heart and always trust you. You know what’s best for you even when everyone else doesn’t. Life is hard enough, take time to laugh, love and live! Be nice to others and always choose to be kind. It’s much easier to be evil, don’t let that be your narrative. Proverbs 10:9 says, "Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out". Keep your heart pure and never change that regardless of anyone or anything you’ve been through. Stay true to you!

Like Mariah the Scientist said, "when it is all said and done, there's some things you can't run from" and some of those things live within you. You have to fight every day to be a better person than you were yesterday. You have to get yourself out of that funk, you have to want to be happy. You have to want to show your heart to the world. You have to be mindful of the things you allow into your heart and always be the best version of you.

If only you knew how good it can really get, don't give up on you! Live your life, the rules are fake, make your own! You are enough, you matter, and someone needs you! Be kind to yourself, hugs and kisses, Ki :)