Pouring From My Cup

Hey, hey! I am so glad you're back to read another Opened Heart post, happy to have you :) Please don't hesitate to leave a comment below on what you feel; I love to read different opinions and outlooks. That's what this is for, to open the floor for conversation. Today we're discussing what it means to me to pour from my cup.

To me pouring from your cup can be a plethora of things: how you treat people, how you help people, how you communicate, how you carry yourself, how you love and how you process things. I see your "cup" as your heart and mind put together. Your love, your compassion, your skills, your determination, your logic, your morals, your knowledge; they all make up your "cup". Without these things, who are you? What is your purpose? I believe in order to pour from your cup into the cup of other's, you must first know who you are and what you have to offer.

One thing that I have noticed about myself is, I put everyone else first. I tend to pour from my cup a lot more than my cup is poured into. But what I noticed about pouring from my cup, it helps me to pour into my cup as well. I notice how much I help people, and how people come to me for advice on anything honestly; my opinion is valued, it takes energy to give advice and pour your ideas into someone else. I find it very easy to help someone with a creative idea that they are having, and being able to get an idea off my mind as well. That is me pouring into someone else, and allowing me to pour into myself.

It is so important to have people around you who pour into your cup, but make sure they are pouring in what YOU need, not what THEY THINK you need. Sometimes it's hard to constantly pour into your own cup, so that is why each part of the cycle is needed to help you grow. Just imagine how much easier life would be if we all poured into each other instead of only thinking of ourselves. Pouring from your cup does not have to be a bad thing, it's all about how you look at it, where you are pouring from and where you are pouring into.

You pour into your cup > You pour into someone else's cup > Someone else pours into you > The cycle repeats itself over and over.

Don't get me wrong, pouring into others can definitely be draining. Imagine everyone asking you for help and you can barely help yourself, but me having a savior complex, I still find a way to help where I can, leaving my cup half-way empty. At this point, do I stop pouring myself into others, although it fuels my own fire; or do I continue to pour into others, and lose my own fire? How do you decide when to be helpful and when to set your own boundaries? Sometimes you just don't feel like it and that's okay.

Setting boundaries is hard, but it is so important to do so because it makes you more aware of who you are and what you are willing to tolerate. One boundary I have to work on is saying no when I truly do not want to do something. Saying no has always been hard for me; I hate to disappoint people, or to not be available when other's need me, especially when I know they don't have a lot of options. However, lately I have been learning to take time for me, be who I need to be for me and be confident in saying no. It just is what it is, no means no and that's that. I used to feel bad when I had to tell someone no, or having to choose to keep my cup full, but I am so glad I learned this because I was lacking in so many personal ways.

Pouring into everyone else's cup has shown me how much I need to pour back into myself. I notice how I am not as confident as I would like to be. I notice how much I need to heal. I notice how much more time I need to put into myself. I notice how much more grace I need to give myself. I would have never noticed any of these things if I didn't stop to look at what pouring into everyone else's cup was doing to me.

I find it hard to speak up for myself sometimes, because I feel bad when I can't be there for other people, but I have to step out of this. I deserve to see my cup as half-full, instead of half-empty. Putting myself first doesn't mean I forget about everyone else or that I do not care what they do. Instead it is a reminder that in order to be my complete and unique self, I have to pick me up and pour my water first. What do they tell you on the plane when something goes wrong? "Put on your oxygen mask first, then help those around you." I don't think a lot of people understand how much context is behind this one simple rule, but there's a lot. It all bottles down to YOU. How you treat yourself will teach you how to treat other people.

It is important to note that whether we want to believe it or not, life goes on. It will continue to operate every single day, every single minute, every single second; so how do you plan to water yourself? How do you plan to overflow into the cups of others? Think about this for a second, write those questions down and answer them.

Practice what you preach; pour into your cup, pour into others and watch how beautiful the garden blooms. See you next time! Remember to stay safe, manifest whatever it is you want and be kind to yourself, hugs and kisses, Ki :)

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Side note: This post has opened up to a series of blog post I want to create. Next up,

"Healing from my Past"

"Walking into my Confidence"

"Creative Vulnerability"

Each are very important to me and my process on how I made it to where I am thus far, I hope you continue to follow my journey.