Walking into my Confidence

What is confidence? Who really has it and who doesn’t? Are you just born with it? All these questions are vital to understanding why confidence is so important. Research shows that

in fact, less than 50% of people report being confident in their abilities. This is particularly true for women, who are more likely to feel insecure when they're younger and doubt their abilities.

A lot of research shows that people in general get more confident as they get older. Now to me this just seems true because the older we get the less likely we care, so it helps us to be and look more confident. There are factors that influence confidence such as: social media, childhood experiences, your social groups, inner happiness/personal experiences and professional success.

Image source: www.geehair.com

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When you look up confidence on Google, it has 3 different definitions.

con·fi·dence

1. a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities.

2. the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something: firm trust.

3. the state of feeling certain about the truth of something.

It’s funny because when we think of confidence the only idea that really pops in our head is #1. But confidence is everything, it is key. It helps mold you into a well-rounded individual. Imagine a life where you cannot be confident in anyone, anything or even yourself… what does that look like? Crazy, right? That is exactly why walking into my confidence was mandatory to my journey of growth.

When I was growing up, I did not have any ounce of confidence. I didn’t really like myself or how I was treated by many people. I had a bad attitude, and it was the only way I felt that people would respect me, if I was mean. Not being confident in who you are and what you believe in makes it harder for people to trust you. People love to see other people be confident, especially when you wear it with pride.

I used to get bullied a lot back in middle school and it made me mean. I was always a mean kid, but the bullying just made me different. It makes you look at life and people different. Now don’t get me wrong, it didn’t ruin or boost my confidence, it more so just had me at a standstill. It made me question why no one else saw the person that I saw every morning. I know my heart, I know what I am capable, and I always felt that I was pretty, so why did they bully me? It took me growing up to realize people will talk about you whether you have it all together or you don’t. Whether you look good or look bad. Whether you hold your head the highest in the room or if you don’t; people will talk, you just cannot let it get to you.

The first step to confidence, in my eyes, is loving who you are. Being okay with who you are is so important. If you cannot live in your truth, you will never be happy or confident. If you cannot freely do the things that make you happy without wanting confirmation from other people, you cannot truly be happy or confident. What a lot of people struggle with is assuming that you can get happiness from other people, but you can't.

People can contribute to your happiness, but no one can actually make you happy. Shout out to my ex, he taught me that. I'm glad he did, because I really used to think "if I just find my person, my life would be great" but honestly dating when you aren't confident or happy is opening you up to a world of trouble! Please love on yourself first, love on yourself the most; you are all you have, really!

It was not until recently where I really started to hone into my confidence. I began to be more direct in what I say and how I feel. I started to stand on what made me feel good: wearing what I wanted, doing what I wanted, being who I am, etc. A lot of people won’t understand you or why you do the things that you do, and that’s okay, they aren’t always supposed to. I walked into my confidence because I had no other option. Wanting to be a creator made me push myself more. If I wasn’t confident in my own abilities, how could I expect anyone else to be confident in me. You see how all 3 definitions are going hand in hand?

The older I get the less I look for validation, which truly is a placeholder for your own self-assurance. The more I understand who I am and what I am capable of, the more I trust myself to make the right decisions. Being confident in my writing and ability to tell a story in a different way, is what lead me to finding the career path I want to pursue. Being confident is what helps me to be creative and think outside of the box. It helps me to trust my abilities and know that if it is on my mind, it is on my path.

Another thing that I learned helps build your confidence is remembering we don’t know everything, we never will. There is always room for growth, and if you open your mind up to this, you grow easier. When you start to realize your personal growth, you become more confident in what you can achieve.

The world literally is hard enough, with so much stacked against me, my confidence, my truth, and my awareness are all I have. I can say, you never truly are done growing. You never really reach an ultimate height of confidence because we grow too often. There will always be a new you that you must get used to and learn to appreciate. My advice to anyone, never stop loving on yourself, never stop growing and never ever let anyone take your self-assurance away from you.

Confidence is key.

Confidence is your crown.

Confidence is you.

Love the skin you are in.

Love the mind God gave you.

Appreciate who you are.

Always believe in yourself.

And never stop growing.

The world is yours

You just have to take it.

Keep reading to take the poll at the end, I appreciate you being here. See you next time! Remember to stay safe, manifest whatever it is you want and be kind to yourself, hugs and kisses, Ki :)

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References

Kochar, A. (2022, January 5). Are Most People Confident? [web log]. Retrieved November 26, 2022, from https://www.healseeklive.com/confidence/are-most-people-confident/.

When did you start to be more aware of your confidence?

• Elementary School
• Middle School
• High School
• College

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